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And so I have made the transplant list. I am not sure how I feel about it. Somebody will have to die or be in pain because of me. This is something I am having trouble with. Sometimes I do not feel worthy of this gift; the gift of health and longer life, of someone’s pain, either physical or emotional. I cannot take away a person’s desire to give Christ like service thru the donation of a kidney or the ability to heal me as Christ healed others, but it is hard for me to be on the receiving end rather than the giving side of service.
None of us likes to admit that we are unable to help ourselves. I have served others since I was a teenager, teaching Primary and acting as a Den Aid to my brother’s den. As an adult, I have served in Girl Scouts, Pokémon, Boy Scouting, and many other callings for uncounted years. How can I courteously accept a kidney from another, when I have strived to serve and not receive my whole life?
I was recently told that I needed to change my perspective and realize that although I may not be able to give physical service back to those who help me, I could offer service of a spiritual nature by accepting their physical and financial service. Larry Hyatt said “You can’t deny me the blessings promised by the Lord, when I give you service.” When others help or serve us they, in turn, are serving God.
In Japanese language there is a term — on. The meaning of on often includes a sense of gratitude combined with a desire to repay others for what we have been given. In a way, when we express our gratitude to those who serve us we are truly showing thanksgiving to God. I’ll try to remember that I might to be the answer to someone else’s prayers for an opportunity to serve and graciously accept their sacrifice with a cheerful attitude.