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Not long ago, while I was interned in the hospital for Pancreatitis, I was visited by an older LDS missionary couple. As we visited, I found out that she had been my mother’s Visiting Teacher in California. After realizing who I was, she proceeded to chastise me for not visiting my mother more.
Let me tell you about my vacations. Since I have moved to Utah, from California, we have had a total of two family vacations that did not evolve visiting her; that’s two in 40 years. Once a year we dutifully go home; not gone on cruises, church history tours, Disney adventures, or other trips our peers’ go on, or take their children too.
We really would like to go on a real vacation, but can’t see beyond our family obligations, and now that I am waiting for a kidney and Jerry’s health is such as it is, we can’t leave the Wasatch Front. And a mission is so far out of the question.
This sister had no right to judge me; she did not know me or my situation. She must have believed my narcissistic mother, that nobody visits her. My mother is not a pleasant person, but is able to put on any “face” she wants to the world. None of my siblings visit her unless under obligation, or they want something. I visit as much as ones that live in town, but to judge me by that standard is and was wrong and hurtful.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, said “When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!” (“The Merciful Obtain Mercy,” Ensign, May 2012, 70) Only God, who knows each individual’s heart, can make final judgments of individuals. Whenever possible, we should refrain from making judgments until we have an adequate knowledge of the facts.